The Curtain Rods
He spent the first day packing his belongings
into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, he had the movers come and
collect his things.
On the third day, he sat down for the last time
at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight,
put on
some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of
shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle
of Chardonnay.
When he had finished, he went into each and every room
and
deposited a few half-eaten shrimp
shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain
rods.
he then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the wife returned with her new boyfriend,
all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the
house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning
and
mopping and airing the place out.
Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets
were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung
everywhere.
Exterminators were brought
in to set off gas
canisters, during which they had to move out for a few
days, and in the end they even paid to replace the
expensive wool
carpeting.
Nothing worked. People stopped coming over
to visit...
Repairmen refused to work in the house...
The maid quit...
Finally, they could not take the stench any
longer and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their
price in half, they could not find a buyer for their
stinky
house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local
Realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money
from the bank to purchase a new place.
The man called the ex-wife, and asked how things
were going. She told him the saga of the rotting house.
He listened politely, and said that he missed
his old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce
his
divorce settlement in exchange for getting the
house back...
Knowing her ex-husband had no idea how bad the smell
was, she agreed on price that was about 1/10th of what
the house
had been worth...But only if he were to
sign the papers that very day. He agreed, and within
the
hour, her lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later, the woman and her new boyfriend
stood smirking as they watched the moving company pack
everything to
take to their new home...
including the curtain rods.