Is Hell exothermic?
The
following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry
mid term. The answer was so "profound" that the professor shared
it
with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as
well.
Bonus
Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
absorbs
heat)?
Most
of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas
cools
off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.
One
student, however, wrote the following:
First,
we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need
to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are
leaving.
I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell,
it
will not leave.
Therefore,
no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell,
lets
look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Some
of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion,
you will go to Hell.
Since
there are more than one of these religions and since people do not
belong
to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With
birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls
in Hell
to increase exponentially.
Now,
we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
same,
the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1.
If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
Hell
breaks loose.
2. Of
course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls
in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes
over.
So
which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa
Banyan
during my Freshman year - that "it will be a cold day in Hell before I
sleep
with you", and take into account the fact that I still have not
succeeded
in having sexual relations with her, then, it cannot be true, and thus
I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.
The
student received the only "A" given.